


Cedric and the Golden Apple

by cloudeater (anxiousgoat), gigglefit (NoctuaLusa), Ravenclaw_Cait, seanisfinnigan, tschulie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Apple - Freeform, Crack, Hot!Dobby, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:21:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27431164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiousgoat/pseuds/cloudeater, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoctuaLusa/pseuds/gigglefit, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravenclaw_Cait/pseuds/Ravenclaw_Cait, https://archiveofourown.org/users/seanisfinnigan/pseuds/seanisfinnigan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tschulie/pseuds/tschulie
Summary: Cedric finds an apple in the library and is determined to reunite it with its one true love, no matter the cost.
Relationships: Cedric Diggory/Blaise Zabini, Draco Malfoy/Apple
Kudos: 5
Collections: Fanatical Fam's Crackfic Chaos





	Cedric and the Golden Apple

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Crackfic written by the Fanatical Fam over on the discord for the Fanatical Fics and Where To Find Them podcast!  
> These fics have been created using our favourite bot - Chocolate Frogs - during a game we like to call Crackfic Chaos.

Cedric Diggory was one very confused Hufflepuff. 

One minute he was alone in the library, and then all of a sudden there was a skulking figure in the door way. No less than two minutes later, that figure had moved further into the shadows of the library stacks. Cedric tentatively made his way into the shadowy corner of the library, determined to confront whoever was hiding. 

It was only then that Cedric realised the hidden figure was suddenly stark naked! 

"Whoah!" was what came to Cedric's mind when he stared at the naked figure in the library. 

There had been rumors that the house elves of Hogwarts were hot. All the Hufflepuffs who made a habit of sneaking in the kitchen told him so. Never having been there, he couldn't tell until now. 

Cedric's eyes widened as Hot Dobby approached him, sensually holding out an apple. 

"Look at Hot Dobby's apple, sir. It has a remarkable physique, does it not?" it did! The apple was so deliciously curvy, and those red cheeks! Beautiful! Cedric took it out of Hot Dobby's hands and held it in front of his face. He slowly opened his mouth, wanting to taste the deliciousness when he saw that the apple had eyes that were looking back at him. Cedric shut his mouth again. It had always been his policy not to eat something that would be able to see what was happening as it went down. Instead, he raised his free hand and gave the astonishingly gorgeous apple a little wave. 

"Hi," he said, a bit shyly. "I'm Cedric." He was barely surprised at all when a small slit opened in the apple's succulent flesh and began to speak.

"I'm apple" it said with a surprisingly deep voice. "Can you bring me back to my lover Draco Malfoy please oh handsome stranger". Cedric nodded. Cedric was used to people asking him for advice and/or help in their romantic endeavours. So, helping apple with finding their lover Draco Malfoy might be alright. The only problem was: getting into the Slytherin common room was not that easy for a Hufflepuff. So maybe, they should try to find the Slytherin Ice Prince somewhere else? 

Cedric wandered the halls of Hogwarts with Hot Apple and Hot Dobby for several hours, searching for Draco. Strangely, none of the Slytherins seemed to be around. Were they having some sort of dark ritual in their common room? Finally, Cedric spotted a flash of green turning the corner, and sprinted after it. 

Seeing who it was, he shouted: "Blaise! Wait up!" Cedric sprinted after Blaise, with the two Hotties trailing in his wake. Blaise turned around to glare at him, but suddenly his breath was taken away by just how hot Hot Dobby had become! Was this...arousal? 

“Hot Dobby?!” He exclaimed, “Cedric, what are you doing with these guys?” Cedric blushed and looked confused, and gestures vaguely to Hot Dobby and Hot Apple, 

“We wanted to find Draco” he stammered and Blaise started to smirk... 

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather have... me?" they said, with an enormous wink. Cedric's blush spread over his entire body until he was so aroused that his hair began to smoke a little. Blaise took his hand. "Come on," they said. "You, me, Hot Dobby and Hot Apple. What could be better? Shall we adjourn to the Prefects' Bathroom?"

Cedric stared at Blaise with wide eyes. Going to the prefects' bathroom with them and the others sounded delightful but his brain could not compute. 

"But... but... Dobby is not hot," he stammered Suddenly thunder clapped over the super loud. Students ran around screaming in confusion, a bolt of lightning had apparently hit the Astronomy tower. In the hectics any plans of the Prefects bathroom were discarded. With a thud the apple landed on the cold stone floor. Cedric made a dive for the apple, scooping it up quickly into his quidditch-toned arms and inspecting it for bruising. Fortunately, it seemed okay. 

"Curse those Slytherins and their arcane rituals!" he thought angrily as he dashed through the castle, heading for the Slytherin common room. Forget the rules! He was going to barge in there and stop them if it killed him! 

Which, it did. He was now a ghost. Ghost Cedric couldn’t believe it. Seconds ago he had been alive, and now what - doomed to haunt the halls of Hogwarts forever, clutching Hot Apple. Curse those Slytherins he thought. Still, at least his immortal ghost life had one perk. As if to prove that point, Ghost!Cedric effortlessly passed through the previously impenetrable stone walls of the dungeons, and settles himself in to see who would shower first. If he had a heart, it would have raced. Who knows Apple, maybe it will be Draco. 

The End.


End file.
